On Friday, Fontana Regional Library will host author Jeffrey D. Lofton at Cashiers and Highlands. Lofton will be discussing his book “Red Clay Suzie,” a book that draws inspiration from Lofton’s personal experiences growing up as an outsider. Lofton will appear at the Cashiers library at 1 p.m. for an author talk and then he’ll head up to Highlands for ‘Books and Bites’ at 4 p.m.
Through “Red Clay Suzie,” the protagonist, Philbet, struggles with his life and identity, self-image, love, bullying, ignorance, and disdain before finally finding acceptance. While “Red Clay Suzie” is not a direct autobiography, it is a fictionalized memoir formed by Lofton’s life and it is Lofton’s way of reconciling with his childhood.
“I’ve always thought of myself as a ‘fringie’, somebody who has lived life on the outside looking in,” Lofton explained.
Like Philbet, Lofton was born gay and with a severe chest malformation in rural Georgia. As Lofton grew up, bullying intensified for factors he had no control over. As bullying intensified, so did his feeling of being an outsider and feeling like an ‘other’.
Lofton attended LaGrange College in Georgia, studying stage and communication. During this period, he began journaling as a means of dealing with the bullying and body shaming he endured as a child, even by his own family. This was the first time Lofton was really able to address these stinging memories. Journaling allowed him to expel some of that pain and begin the path toward self-healing.
“I had memories, white hot memories, of these experiences with my family. I’ve come to think of it as an ‘exorcism by expulsion’ to get all of that out of me,” Lofton said.
As an adult, Lofton read and revisited “To Kill a Mockingbird” and André Aciman’s “Call Me By Your Name.” These books resonated with Lofton as an outsider and sparked a fire in him to continue with literature.
Following college, Lofton had a career in theatre, performing arts, and acting. He landed in Washington, D.C. before ultimately stepping away from acting, deciding to use his storytelling in more positive ways to help others tell their stories. He worked with the Veterans History Project and landscape architects. At the time, he earned Master’s degrees in public administration and library information science. He is currently a senior advisor at the Library of Congress.
During his commutes on the D.C. metro, Lofton began typing “Red Clay Suzie” on his phone, chipping away pieces at a time over the course of roughly seven months, but the book lifts his journal entries from college. One day, his attitude on writing changed and he was determined to finish the book for others who have felt like fellow “fringies.”
“I noticed at some point I was actually writing the story no longer for myself. I’m an adult now and I’m doing pretty well. I’m doing very well. I realized I had to finish it because I wanted it to be a roadmap of sorts for people who are struggling now as I did then,” Lofton said.
Lofton said it can be nerve wracking to put his deepest thoughts out there, but writing “Red Clay Suzie” has been quite a healing process for him. He has found courage through his creativity, which has changed how he views the world around him. He has learned he doesn’t need to fear bullies. He has improved his capacity to love himself and his body.
“The most important message of all is love, real, true love, is never wrong and to bestow it on whoever is worthy of that gift,” Lofton said. “The very essence of the book is you don’t have to be perfect to be happy.”
Along with an increased capacity for self-love and acceptance, Lofton has seen the profound ways his book helps others who have felt, or are feeling, like he has. He said it is always helpful to know there are others like you.
“I feel a responsibility to my community of fellow outsiders to be visible. I felt so alone growing up. I didn’t feel like I really belonged. To know there was just one person out there who felt at least a little like me would have been such a comfort,” Lofton said.
Loneliness, on the other hand, can be a long, silent, painful killer. A portion of proceeds from “Red Clay Suzie’’ will be donated to The Trevor Project and Born This Way Foundation. The Trevor Project is an organization that works to help queer and at risk youth have a sense of belonging, working to prevent suicide in LGBTQ+ youth among other factors.
Lofton believes better acceptance, education, and care for LGBTQ+ community members can help lower these statistics. Lofton encouraged schools, libraries, and other community organizations to help establish safe spaces and create programs that “affirm the diversity that exists in all of us.” He said talking about issues the community faces can help them feel more accepted.